Daily Devotions
How to Deal with Lying Children
Reading for April 15th: 1 Kings 8-9
Weekly reading for April 12-18: Acts 1-5
But Peter said, "Ananias, why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Spirit and to keep back for yourself part of the proceeds of the land? While it remained unsold, did it not remain your own? And after it was sold, was it not at your disposal?"
Acts 5:3-4
Which is more important to you as a parent...
- That your child got a poor grade on a test or lied about it?
- That someone ate the last cookie or denied taking it?
- That the toilet seat was left up or that someone was falsely accused of breaking a house rule?
Ananias and Sapphira were not punished for giving only part of the proceeds from their sale of land, but for lying about it. Lying is serious business with God. It should be a priority in our homes.
It is ironic, however, that what undergirds lying in some children is not a rebellious heart, but a heart that wants to please. Sometimes the reason our children use deception is because they don't want to disappoint us.
What can we do? A few suggestions:
- Go easy on confession, heavy on deception. When a child comes clean they should receive a much lighter punishment (if any at all). If they lie about the smallest of things there should be stiff consequences (spelled out ahead of time).
- Don't trap. When you have a suspicion your child has done something wrong, lay out all you know (or think you know). This will build a level of trust, that you're not out to get them.
- Emphasize the relationship. Explain that lying is destructive to your relationship, that relationships are built on trust. Assure them that you sincerely do want to trust them, but when they lie it makes it virtually impossible to do that.
This last point is critical. Our children should believe we're on their side. Instead of blowing up over trivial things (like eating the last cookie) we should save our wrath for those things that matter most. Whether they get straight A's or clean up their room or leave the toilet seat up is not nearly as important as learning to be truthful and honest at all times.
Father, give us as parents wisdom to know when to fight battles with our kids, why these battles are so important, and how to best handle these important battles when they arise.
